Will things come together?
Ah, fuck it, if I fuck it up, I've fucked it up. Better to have fucked it up than to have not fucking tried in the first fucking place.
Sounds about right. Cut me, I bleed; hurt me, I cry; feel for me, I cherish you; love me... don't know about that one. I'll look at you like you're a bloody idiot, probably. Anyway, getting way off base there, I've got a "fuck it" plan! To talk to Poison, all or nothing; his answer will basically be the determining factor in how I feel about him. "Yes," I look into it, but not for too much longer; "no," we continue being friends and I finally move on. That's how it was with Chico, once I found the nerve to bring it up, and I got my closure; now, that's what I need here too. CLOSURE, pure and simple. People keep telling me to just go for it... what do I have to lose...? At this point nothing. Good thing, I suppose.
In an unrelated topic, mostly because I'm actually sick of watching myself type about that Poison shit, I'm getting baptized this weekend. And I'm happy about it, extremely happy. Today while I was in church I really felt close to God. And... it's quite an amazing sensation, to feel like he might be watching you in particular. When I was about 11, I went to a special service where these two "prophets", for lack of a better description, had come to speak. They had a "connection" with God, He spoke to them basically, and I was the first person of the night that they were called to talk to. They said, most prominently, that I would travel a lot in my life, including overseas for education, and in my thirties. I would be called to minister, helping many people; I would rise up in leadership; and, oddly enough, I would be "beautiful," which I'm still a bit confused about why I was told that, but I suppose it would be just to keep up my confidence. I want, and really need, to be closer to God, because without Him my life is... lost.
Will things begin to come together this week? One cannot only hope; one must pray and try to make it happen.
I love you, world. Thank you.
Sounds about right. Cut me, I bleed; hurt me, I cry; feel for me, I cherish you; love me... don't know about that one. I'll look at you like you're a bloody idiot, probably. Anyway, getting way off base there, I've got a "fuck it" plan! To talk to Poison, all or nothing; his answer will basically be the determining factor in how I feel about him. "Yes," I look into it, but not for too much longer; "no," we continue being friends and I finally move on. That's how it was with Chico, once I found the nerve to bring it up, and I got my closure; now, that's what I need here too. CLOSURE, pure and simple. People keep telling me to just go for it... what do I have to lose...? At this point nothing. Good thing, I suppose.
In an unrelated topic, mostly because I'm actually sick of watching myself type about that Poison shit, I'm getting baptized this weekend. And I'm happy about it, extremely happy. Today while I was in church I really felt close to God. And... it's quite an amazing sensation, to feel like he might be watching you in particular. When I was about 11, I went to a special service where these two "prophets", for lack of a better description, had come to speak. They had a "connection" with God, He spoke to them basically, and I was the first person of the night that they were called to talk to. They said, most prominently, that I would travel a lot in my life, including overseas for education, and in my thirties. I would be called to minister, helping many people; I would rise up in leadership; and, oddly enough, I would be "beautiful," which I'm still a bit confused about why I was told that, but I suppose it would be just to keep up my confidence. I want, and really need, to be closer to God, because without Him my life is... lost.
Will things begin to come together this week? One cannot only hope; one must pray and try to make it happen.
I love you, world. Thank you.
posted by K.M. at 10:47 PM
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